


Sympathy

by 1JettaPug



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Betrayal, Character Death, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 02:28:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6138237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1JettaPug/pseuds/1JettaPug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pharma hummed to himself, bitterly thinking about how others talk about of betrayal. How someone’s actions or words hurt others beyond repair, beyond trust. He wondered if that’s what he left Ratchet feeling. It must have been… He knew that’s what Ratchet left him feeling even long before Delphi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sympathy

Pharma hummed to himself, bitterly thinking about how others talk about of betrayal. How someone’s actions or words hurt others beyond repair, beyond trust. He wondered if that’s what he left Ratchet feeling. It must have been… He knew that’s what Ratchet left him feeling even long before Delphi.

But now he was the one who stabbed everyone in the back. Pharma wouldn’t live to tell anyone why Ratchet was the one who betrayed him first. He never said a word to him about the choice he was given by Prime. Not even after they embraced each other after a long, tedious day of repairs did Ratchet even mention anything to him.

Ratchet came to him one day, while he was making repairs to another mech. He held his servo briefly and released it just as fast. He explained what he was choosing and then… Pharma’s lip almost quivered. Then he had left him there, standing there in a medbay while he walked out to work with Optimus Prime and the rest of the Autobots. Ratchet didn’t even send him a message until a few million years later. Pharma never opened it up to read it. He’d been so crushed that it’d taken a few million years for Ratchet to acknowledge that he still functioned.

Pharma hiccupped pathetically. Besides pain, how was one supposed to feel when your best friend and lover stabbed you in the back? Pain… misery and confusion? It was a whole mixture of feelings that drove his spark mad. It understood the pain of the stab too well.

Pharma never trusted another medic the same way he did Ratchet. Never again… He built a wall up and insisted that he do everything on his own. Even then, he realized, even when they transferred him to Delphi, others trusted him. Well, they trusted him to get the job done. First Aid and Ambulon never really liked him enough to be in the same room unless they needed to be.

Still, with what little trust they had in him, his hand was forced to betray them and every single one of the patients there.

Tarn. Someone who already understood pain too well, showed up in his life.

Pharma began to think Primus cursed his spark. 

But the more time he spent fixing the tank’s T-cogs, the more time Tarn had to talk and make conversation with him. At first, Pharma was fearful of what the tank might’ve done to him. After Tarn made it very clear that he had no intention of harming his little medic, Pharma sighed a sigh of relief. He might’ve even started to warm up to him. 

The demand for T-cogs increased over time. Pharma kept finding it more and more troublesome to kill his patients and keep their deaths looking natural. He raised the issue up with Tarn, but found he couldn’t raise anything up when the tank embraced him. It had been very different from when he had been with Ratchet. It was rougher but not rough. Tarn could be gentle, and he taught Pharma to open his spark back up for another.

When the demand increased again, Pharma had no choice but to tell Tarn that it was an impossible task. Pharma found out that Tarn didn’t like being told no when it came to much of anything.

That night, Pharma shivered in the corner of his room as he thought about betrayal. This one had been a lot more physical than what Ratchet had done to him, and he was happy to see his lover walk out on him for once. He wondered if there was any sort of sympathy for the ones who’ve already been betrayed once before. It seems like there wasn’t any kind of sympathy in the first place, he thought. He was left pick himself up again, and he still had to finish Tarn’s T-cog demand.

Pharma was dealing with everything the best he could, but it was a pain that wouldn’t go away. It was a pain that could never be undone, and it only increased when Ratchet and his companions came to Delphi. Pharma snapped. He was going to betray them long before Ratchet had the chance to do it to him again.

However, this time, it was his own actions that caused his own pain. He didn’t deserve sympathy for all the pain that he caused. But he made sure that Ratchet didn’t get a fragging scrap of pity from him. He made sure Ratchet knew what he’d done when he betrayed him, left him without so much as a simple discussion.

“You old fragger…” Pharma groaned. He looked down at his wrists, bleeding profusely without his servos. He’d survived the fall only to die of energon loss. In the end, when there was no one else around, he was his own downfall.

At long last, Primus, it seemed, looked down upon him and gave him his sympathy that was so long due. Pharma’s spark started to fade, then turned grey. He could finally rest.


End file.
